The Spidey and the Hawk
by KevyGrayce
Summary: A fun fight sequence and banter with a stressed out Tony, a playful Peter, and a sarcastic (comic) Clint Barton.


Hey everyone! I hope everyone who's gone back to school is doing good! Today we're back with another one shot, this time with a very entertaining trio :) I've always wanted to write Comic Clint and I finally got the opportunity! Please take their banter and sort-of-team work 3000

Request from micksnarky on IG: I wanna see Hawkeye.

Have fun and stay safe❤ 💛💚💙💜

* * *

When Peter woke up this morning, he wasn't expecting to end up fighting Sidewinder during lunchtime. Especially not alongside Tony. _Especially _especially not alongside Clint aka Hawkeye. This is definitely one of the more exciting days. Peter swings up in the air and shoots a Web Grenade from each wrist in hopes of pinning Sidewinder in place, but the psycho just teleports again.

"Did no one tell this guy that teleporting is cheating?" Peter grumbles as he flips to the ground and lands in a wide stance. While he has a spare moment, he flicks out his empty web cartridges and replaces them. He keeps an eye out for where the villain will appear next and glances to the radar in the corner of his HUD. When the fight began in his school cafeteria, he managed to tag Sidewinder with a Spider Tracer.

"If he didn't get the costume memo, then I doubt he got much of anything else," Clint agrees over the comms, his voice lighthearted despite his concentration. His eyes are as sharp as always and his arm is steadily drawing back his bow atop a nearby building.

"Y'know, I really appreciate your help but I totally could've handled this," Peter feels the need to point out. He clears his throat awkwardly in an attempt to sound confident.

"Sure, Underoos," Tony humors him.

"I was just bored and couldn't nap," Clint easily admits. Peter isn't sure how to interpret that, but it doesn't matter since his Spidey Sense goes off just before the radar beeps.

"Peter," Karen quickly warns. Luckily, his Spidey Sense gave him enough heads up to duck as a fist flies over his head.

"Eyes up, kid," Tony reminds as he flies overhead. While he does so, he shoots a steady beam of energy with his repulsors down at Sidewinder. While Sidewinder is distracted, Peter's lowered stance gives him the advantage of being able to sweep the villain's legs out from underneath him.

"My eyes are always up, Mr. Stark! I'm super great at concentrating. Unparallelled, actually." Peter hears Clint snort.

"Last time you 'concentrated' on something," Peter's enhanced hearing catches the snap of a bow string and an arrow whistle through the air, "Bruce kicked your ass at chess. If there can _be _ass-kicking in chess." Before the arrow hits its mark, Sidewinder once again teleports. The arrow whizzes just past Peter's head and pierces the asphalt.

"Woah! C'mon, Mr. Barton! First you insult me and then try to impale me? My goal is to make it back in time for Decathlon practice un-skewered," Peter quips as he focuses on his surroundings. Clint strings a new arrow from his quiver and prepares for the next appearance.

"Lower your standards a bit!" Clint counters.

"Wanting to _live _is too high standards?!" Peter questions, his voice a bit higher than before. Tony rolls his eyes and circles back around.

"Is this what Cap felt like when I cracked jokes constantly? Was I this bad?" he mutters, partly to himself and partly into the comms.

"Excuse you, we're hilarious," Clint argues in a smug tone.

"Yeah, you'd be bored if it weren't for us. You're just jealous. By the way, 6 o'clock, Mr. Barton," Peter adds nonchalantly when his Spidey Sense pings. Sidewinder reappears behind Clint, but the archer is quick to react. Almost instantaneously, he whips around and lets loose three sequential arrows. The first actually manages to hit Sidewinder and expands to administer an electrical charge, but then he teleports again. The other two arrows streamline off into the distance. What a shame.

"Bored? _Sane _is more like it," Tony dismisses and lands beside Peter. They both turn back-to-back to allow them 360 degrees of vision. There's a bit of silence.

"My 9 o'clock…" Peter whispers, "Now!" He shoots a Taser Web as Tony's armor expands to create four additional sentry thrusters that hover around him. The Taser Web attaches next to Clint's electric arrow and causes Sidewinder to seize as the energy beams are fired from the Iron Man suit. In the blink of an eye, Sidewinder is gone and the beams hit a building across the street instead.

"Not a word." Tony's tone almost seems to challenge one of them to vocalize his mistake. Of course, who better to do that than Clint.

"Man, must suck not being able to aim. Can't relate," he says with fake empathy. Peter does his best to hold back laughter, but fails.

"If you two don't start focusing, we-" Tony is cut off by Peter's surprised gasp as he's kicked off balance from behind. Peter stumbles forward and recovers just in time to see a gloved fist rocketing towards his face. Tony, thankfully, catches the fist midair and grips it as Clint fires another speedy arrow. The arrow hits, as usual, then reveals itself to be an explosive-tip arrow as it suddenly explodes. It seems to catch Tony off guard just as much as it does Sidewinder. As he's thrown back, the villain teleports midair as to not hit the ground whereas Tony is thrown back by the blast. Sidewinder appears near Peter and wastes no time in throwing punches.

"Really? Explosion to the face? After all I've done for you?" Tony banters indignantly, his HUD flickering slightly. Peter and Sidewinder exchange blow after blow, blocking all of each other's attacks, but it doesn't take much effort for Peter to overpower him. That is, if the villain weren't constantly teleporting.

"What did you ever do for me?!" Clint questions, choosing his next arrow more carefully. Sidewinder teleports behind Peter every chance he gets, simply to throw the hero off his game. Not to mention it's making his Spidey Sense go haywire. It's getting hard to keep up with. Tony gets up as soon as he can and flies over to support Peter.

"I came over to fix your game console!" he reminds as if it's blasphemous to forget. Peter manages to web Sidewinder's chest and swing him in a circle before flinging him towards Tony.

"You cut all the cords!" Clint recalls defensively. Tony's nanotech forms a club of metal around his fist in time for him to punch the airborne villain.

"You cut the cables first. I said it was a stupid thing to do, which it was," he recounts as the nanotech deforms.

"And then you told me to just cut everything!" Clint fires back without hesitation.

"You ask for _my _help, you get _my _solutions," Tony states matter-of-factly.

"Can you two stop arguing like an old married couple for, like, five seconds?" Peter complains, rolling out his stiff shoulders and bouncing with adrenaline. He's about to cocoon Sidewinder in webbing to the lamppost he harshly collided with, but the villain has disappeared again. _This is seriously getting old, _he groans internally.

"Hey, you're only allowed to default to my side," Tony scolds. Peter merely shrugs before shooting a Web Grenade. Tony's head tilts ever so slightly in confusion, but Peter simply holds up a finger. The Web Grenade beeps and Peter signs something above his head to Clint, before it explodes. Just as the webbing expands, Sidewinder flashes back into existence and an arrow is fired. The villain is enveloped in a thick coating of webs that nearly knocks him over, but then the arrow expands into a net midair and the mesh wraps around him. It's enough to momentarily deter him from teleporting as Tony's shield quickly forms and is used to knock some sense into Sidewinder. Quite literally. It doesn't seem to give him more common sense, but it does successfully render him unconscious, which is just as helpful.

"Hey! Good job unplanned and completely out of sync team!" Peter cheers with his arms up in the air. Tony chuckles a bit as his faceplate retracts.

"Nice work," he mildly praises. Peter, however, has another idea.

"You too, Mr. Stark. Well, not as good as Mr. Barton, but you'll get there." Call him a shit disturber, but he loves pitting Tony and Clint against each other. Purely for the fact that it's hilarious. Tony's eyes lock into Peter before he raises his eyebrows.

"Excuse me? You really want to start this, Shortstack?" he challenges in a reprimanding tone.

"What? Not like he's wrong," Clint happily chimes in. Tony can't help the eye roll that follows.

"I don't have to stand here and take this kind of treatment from a bird and a bug," he points out, no heat behind his words.

"Spiders are arachnids…" Peter quietly corrects.

"I prefer the term 'bird of prey,'" Clint boldly says right after.

"Alright, both of you are at the top of my shit list. No Christmas or Hanukkah presents for you. Just coal and, I don't know, vegetables," Tony admonishes without regret, firmly crossing his arms. Peter's lenses widen slightly.

"I was gonna get presents?" he questions in astonishment, making Tony want to face palm. Clint's waving from the rooftop quickly catches the teen's attention. He looks up to see Clint signing down to him,

_Let's drive him nuts. _

Peter instantly smiles underneath his mask, but the exchange doesn't go unnoticed by Tony.

"No alliances!" he cuts in, but it's already too late.

_He's probably going to murder us, _Peter signs back.

_That's a risk I'm willing to take, _Clint valiantly responds.

"Did, did he just mute us?" Tony questions Peter. "Did you just mute us?!" he repeats louder, directed at the rooftop. "By turning down your _hearing aids _instead of the comms?!" he practically demands.

"Technically, he only muted you. I can still sign, so…" Peter makes a good point, and Tony hates it.

"No. Nuh uh. Nothing from the peanut gallery." Tony makes a shooing motion with his hand.

_You chose this guy as your mentor? Imagine being born with all brains and no beauty. Can't relate. _Tony rapidly looks between Peter next to him and Clint on top of the adjacent building. Peter, however, can't help but laugh at Clint's jab before signing back.

_It's not his fault. He does his best with what he's got. _

"I don't know what you two are saying, but I can almost one hundred persent guarantee it's an insult to me." Tony turns to point at Peter. "In other words, you're grounded."

"Hey!" Peter objects as Tony steps out of his deconstructing suit. Then, Tony looks up at Clint before continuing.

"And Birdbrain is even higher up my shit list. If that were possible," he denounces. Clint fires a Cable Arrow at the ground and prepares to use it as a zipline. He gets ready and signs,

_You need to get him to stop drinking so much coffee. It's making him cranky. Not everyone can hold their coffee like I can. _

"Christ's sake, what is he saying now?" Tony questions Peter as he rubs his forehead in frustration. He just needs to take deep breaths to calm down and he can make it to the Tower, right? Right. Clint can see Tony's mouth move and simply chooses to flip him off in response before zipping down the cable.

"I think that one's pretty self-explanatory, but he's saying fu-" Peter starts, but is quickly interrupted by Tony's hand shooting over his mouth.

_"Nope, _I get it Pete. I'm starting to regret paying for your ASL," Tony grumbles and removes his hand. Clint lands expertly next to them and the cable retracts.

_You don't need him brainwashing you. He's a bad influence. Plug your ears, _he signs, causing Peter to chuckle.

"Yeah, you said it, Mr. Barton," the teen agrees aloud as he signs his response.

"He didn't _say _anything!" Tony counters, genuinely debating on if he wants to rip his hair out. Clint slings his arm around Peter's shoulders and gives him a noogie as Tony rolls his eyes. Peter laughs and bats Clint's hands away. "Yeah, yeah, quit brainwashing my kid, delinquent," Tony warns bitterly, crossing his arms.

"I can read your lips, assface," Clint shoots back with a bold smirk. Tony's eyes narrow into a glare, but there's no malice behind it.

"If he ends up crawling through the vents I'm suing you," he jokingly threatens. The three of them start walking down the street as S.H.I.E.L.D. vehicles start arriving on scene to deal with Sidewinder. Peter walks between the two, Clint with his hands behind his head.

"Jokes on you. I'm broke," Clint retorts honestly, turning up his hearing aids again.

"What's wrong with crawling in the vents?" Peter asks curiously, looking up at Tony with his lenses wide. "I already crawl on the ceiling." He makes a fair point.

"Which already gives me a heart attack, so no thanks. Besides, hell hath no fury like May Parker," Tony declines, also making a valid point.

"Awe, c'mon Mr. Stark!" Peter whines hopefully.

"Let the kid live a little," Clint effortlessly joins in. "I can make him a high quality spy." He bounces his eyebrows, knowing it'll get under Tony's skin.

"Absolutely not," Tony instantaneously rejects the idea.

"Like a shadow in the night," Clint continues.

"No."

"A spider on the wall," Peter agrees along the same train of thought. "Or, y'know, a spider in the vents. You get the gist." Tony closes his eyes and rubs his temples.

"You two are going to give me an ulcer," he groans out. Peter chuckles, his lenses narrowing due to his innocent smile, and nudges Tony in the side as Clint smiles triumphantly. Despite his better judgement, Tony smiles slightly and playfully rolls his eyes. They all head back to the Tower to get cleaned up, eat a well deserved meal, and end up crashing in the living room for superhero naptime.

* * *

Next one shot: Just Statistics! February 7th, back to the angst😈 Peter emotional angst and Tony to the rescue with comfort!

Thank you for reading!❤ 💛💚💙💜

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